I Hope Someone Protests At My Funeral Because It Means I Will Have Done Something Important, But He Didn't Really Mean It When He Said That, Because In Reality He Believed Himself To Be A Robot, And He Would Never Have a Funeral Because He Would Live Forever (On The Edge of Time and Space Stands A Man With Nothing To Do)

Just Because We're Having Sex Doesn't Mean I Love You (I Know)

(If You're Wondering If I Want You To (I Really Don't)) I Don't (Really)

Let Go Of Me, Dad: The Adventures of The #1 Cigar Smoker In Texas (Unconfirmed In 3 Counties)
Holy Shit My Feet Are Fucking Cold (No Seriously Guys, You Have No Idea)

Ilmarinen's Wife, The First Case of Robo-Misogyny In Ancient Fiction (Seriously, He Didn't Even Give Her A Name, What The Fuck)

Do You Guys Think We Over Use Parentheses In Our Track Names? (We Don't)

Tell The Reaper Not To Wait Up (I Really Think An Action Movie Character Needs To Say This, If You Know Any Movie Executives, Please Pass This Along)

I Regret Most Of The Decisions I've Made In My Life

Every Time I Have Dinner There's A Small Pile Of Something I Picked Out, Organized And Neat And Off To The Side, After I'm Done Eating (Maybe I Need To Learn To Like More Foods, But Fuck, That Shit Is Fucking Gross)

Why Does Anyone Even Like Tenacious D, Seriously, Jack Black Is Not In Any Sense Of The Word Funny

If I Had A Penis That Looked Liked Keanu Reeves, I Wonder How That Would Effect My Sex Life

This Is The Point In Our Career Where We Sell Out (Buy A Shirt!!!)

I Can't Find That Fucking File I Was Just Looking At It What Was It Called (Seriously What The Fuck Where Did It Go)

You Can Just Skip This Track, We Don't Like It Either (Blame The Suits)

This One Is Provocative About The Gays

We're Pretty Blatantly Ripping Off A Sonic Youth Song Here (Which One? Send Your Answers In On A Self Addressed Post Card To San Francisco, CA PO Box 113505)